You Are More Than a Number

You Are More Than a Number
photo from Pixabay

Sometimes a number becomes too important.

In college, I was on track to graduate Summa Cum Laude. I only needed a 3.8. Unfortunately, I attended a university that factored minuses and pluses in the grades, rather than straight letters. I had no pluses-only some A-‘s. Those were enough to make me graduate with a 3.79 repeating. They didn’t round up.

At first, I wanted to justify that number to people. I looked back in regret at a couple A-‘s that could have easily been A’s had I done one thing differently. But after a while it occurred to me, “No one cares what my grade point was.”

My worth is far more than a number I achieved.

As our son heads into his senior year, we’re thick in the midst of standardized testing, the ultimate “judge you by a number” scenario. Our boy has studied hard, but the results haven’t been quite what he’d hoped. I thought back on my 3.79 repeating, and told him what I know, “You are more than a number.”

Everywhere we look, we are reduced to numbers: what the scale tells us, how much money we bring in, what our grade point average is, our time on that 5K, the number of our social media followers.

People use those numbers to assign value, to decide who’s in and who’s out, who’s worth their time. They use them to put themselves above others, to feel better about themselves, to claim a temporary space in the world.

But we are so much more than a number.

A number is just a snapshot. It is one picture in a huge collage of who we are. Most of those outward numbers represent transient, arbitrary, and superficial aspects of our lives. They can change tomorrow, for better, or worse. In a week, a month, a year, they will no longer be true. Or remembered.

They are a poor foundation on which to establish our worth.

Numbers do not measure how much we are loved. How well we love others cannot be quantified. They can’t measure our intelligence, attractiveness, importance, or character.

Numbers do not define what we give to the world. They do not define our gifts or passions. Our worth in the eyes of God is not weighed on a scale. Nothing adds or subtracts to any of that one iota.

Some numbers are necessary, for a time. That’s ok. Let’s hold them with a grain of salt, though, and remember that they do not name who we are. We are so much more than a number.

Related posts:

When Comparison Tells Us Who We Are

The Lies of “Too Much” and “Not Enough” 

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Why It’s Good When We See Olympians Fail

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Why It's Good When We See Olympians Fail

My daughter and I spent 3 hours Friday biting our nails and holding our breath, watching the US Women’s National Soccer team play Sweden in the quarterfinals of the Olympics. It came down to PKs, and they lost. They. Lost.

The team favored to win the gold is out of the Olympics.

If it was up to me, they’d still be blazing a trail toward the top of that podium. I’m going to have to boycott IKEA for awhile (although I really need some RÄTTVIK). But as it stands, these women will go home empty-handed.

I’m choosing to see the good in it.

Because here is a chance for our kids to see that you can be the best at something and still fail.

Sometimes the game doesn’t go your way. You miss the shot. The call isn’t fair. Sometimes you work as hard as you can for your dream and it falls short. You just can’t make it happen, no matter how amazing you are.

And if all that’s true, then our kids can see that being the best is a precarious platform on which to build your identity.

It is gone in a heartbeat. These Olympic games show us over and over that value built on achievement slips through our fingers based on hundredths of seconds and millimeters of space.

So we remind them that as we reach high for our dreams, we also sink our roots into the solid ground of who we are in Jesus.

That way, whatever the outcome, we are unfazed, because we aren’t building a home on our performance. It’s built on Him and it can’t be shaken.

Throughout these Olympics, we will see dreams rise and fall. What a great reminder to put our faith and hope in that which cannot be taken from us, to remember that what we do and how well we do it is never a reflection of our worth.

Related:

Our Inside Out Moment 

When Falling Is Good 

What Being a Soccer Mom Teaches Me about Parenting

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The Lies of “Too Much” and “Not Enough”

The Lies of "Too Much" and "Not Enough"

There are two lies we can live by, flip sides of the same coin.

One lie tells us that we might be too much for other people. Too needy, too messy, too emotional, too demanding of the emotional space of others.

The lie tells us to live in fear of being “that person” – the one who asks more than others want to give. It says there’s a limit to how much people want of us.

The other side says maybe we’re not enough. We’re the shirt someone sees in the store that they like, but not quite enough to try it on, not quite enough to invest in it.

It says sure, they like us, but maybe they don’t really like us. Not enough to pursue us. The lie says we might not be fun enough, or interesting enough, or whatever enough of what it would take for them to come closer.

The lies keep us in a crazy battle to be less of this and more of that. They make us question ourselves, to hold back when we should be authentic, to hide parts of ourselves in order to be more acceptable, a constant, “Do you like me now? Do you like me now?” They demand we find a way to make ourselves perfectly lovable.

Both lies say the burden is on us to prove ourselves. We must earn a spot in peoples’ hearts.

They tell us there is no place to rest.

But the truth sets us free.

“As long as I keep running about asking: ‘Do you love me? Do you really love me?’ I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with ‘ifs.'” (Henri Nouwen, Return of the Prodigal Son)

Yes, those lies are bondage. When they whisper to us, “prove yourself worthy,” we say back, “It’s already been done.”

The truth is, we aren’t meant to measure worth, we are simply called to live it. We are worth the space we take up in this world. We are worth pursuing.

If we weren’t, then the God of the universe would not have taken the time to put us here. He would not have come for us. He would not have died in our place. He’s declared us worthy.

Let’s live in the truth of our worth.

Related:

Being Human

Feel Your Worth

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