The Lies of “Too Much” and “Not Enough”

Gina Butz identity, loved 4 Comments

The lies of "too much" and "not enough"

There are two lies I can live by, flip sides of the same coin.

One lie tells me that I might be too much for other people. Too needy, too messy, too emotional, too demanding of the emotional space of others. The lie tells me to live in fear of being “that girl” – the one who asks more than others want to give. It tells me there’s a limit to how much people want of me.

The other side says maybe I’m not enough. I’m the shirt you see in the store that you like, but not quite enough to try it on, not quite enough to invest in it. It says sure, they like you, but maybe they don’t really like you. Not enough to pursue you. The lie says I might not be fun enough, or interesting enough, or whatever enough of what it would take for them to come closer.

The lies want to keep me in a crazy battle to be less of this and more of that. They cause me to question myself, to hold back when I should be authentic, to hide parts of me in order to be more acceptable, a constant, “Do you like me now? Do you like me now?” They demand I find a way to make myself perfectly lovable.

Both lies tell me the burden is on me to prove myself. I must earn my spot in peoples’ hearts.

They tell me there is no place to rest.

But the truth sets me free.

“As long as I keep running about asking: ‘Do you love me? Do you really love me?’ I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with ‘ifs.'” (Henri Nouwen, Return of the Prodigal Son)

Yes, those lies are bondage. When they whisper to me, “prove yourself worthy,” I will say back, “It’s already been done.” The truth is, we aren’t meant to measure worth, we are simply called to live it. {tweet this} You are worth the space you take up in this world. You are worth pursuing.

So am I.

If we weren’t, then the God of the universe would not have taken the time to put us here. He would not have come for us. He would not have died in our place. He’s declared us worthy.

Let’s live in the truth of our worth.


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Comments 4

  1. Vulnerable. Theological. Universal. Evocative. Once again you’ve found a way to minister across gender and culture and point us all to a Magnificent God. May God give you the grace to continue to be in touch with your broken/redeemed heart and to articulate what you experience. May he protect you from ever having to perform with your word choices and allow you to simply trust Him to multiply the offering of your life.

  2. Gina, Cindee Schim has just been blessed by your blog posts. I think that is how to say it. Beautiful. I want to forward to everyone I Know.

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