attitude Archives - Page 2 of 2

Out of Our Comfort Zone

Post author:Gina B
Post published:September 21, 2013
Post category:courage

Confession: I played on what might have been the worst high school soccer team ever. We didn’t score one goal my junior year. We lost one game 0-21. That’s a bad football score.

So it was with great joy that I watched our daughter’s team leave a trail of wins in their wake as they blazed through a spring season undefeated. Girls from the other team sometimes walked away crying. I felt sorry for them – I was one of those girls back in the day.

Our team worked well together. It came easily. The question wasn’t, “Will they win?” But “By how much?” If the other team managed a goal, our girls were disappointed.

That fall, everything changed. They were the same team, with a few new girls. There wasn’t a weak member on the team. But they moved up to playing club level, and since they were the only U-11 team around, they were playing U-12 teams.

They were suddenly out of their comfort zone.

Being Out Of the Comfort Zone

We kept trying to convince them this is a good thing. It was hard to believe when they spent most of their games simply trying to fend off the other team. Their games were so intense I thought about bringing valium. (For me, not them). We told the girls, “You will grow from this. You’ll be better players. This is how it happens.”

Easy wins are fun, but they don’t stretch us.

It’s a good reminder for me, when I’m tempted to say, “easier, please, God.” I know that it is not the easy paths that strengthen me, stretch me, move me closer to where I want to be. To quote from Josh Irby, “In the Discomfort Zone there is insecurity, fear, pain, confusion. But, from the Discomfort Zone come life, hope, change, passion.”

The discomfort zone in our lives is where God is at work. He pushes us there out of His great love for us; He loves us too much to leave us where we were. Our challenge is to be content to stay in that place while He shapes us.

What about you? Are you willing to be in places of discomfort in order to grow?

A Great Day

Post author:Gina B
Post published:September 11, 2013
Post category:gratitude parenting

Can I just declare that today was nutty? Not bad nutty. Just non-stop nutty.

The kids had a homeschool day today (I’m sure many of you are thoroughly confused by our kids’ schooling. Do they go to school? Are they homeschooled? Yes is the answer). Wednesdays are usually long because they had no extra time like the weekend when they could do some of their work. They were both cracking the books by 8 am. I generally don’t sit down on days like today until they’re done. I’m helping one or the other, or trying to catch up on housework or emails or other random ideas that pop into my head. I confess I can be fairly distracted. At one point Megan was literally sitting next to me on the floor and she sent me an email that said, “Can you get my history book?” Apparently she had asked me verbally and I had not responded.

I didn’t realize until halfway through the day that the kids had started working on projects that are actually not due until next week. Their teachers had told them to work on these projects today, but being the good closure lovers that they are, they decided to complete the projects. This sounds fantastic in theory, but in practice it meant that by 4 pm Megan hadn’t started math or written the next paragraph in her essay. They’re normally done by about 3 pm.

On top of that, they were both running into snags – questions they couldn’t answer (and quite frankly, neither could I), ideas that needed my feedback, internet help – and no amount of me saying, “Maybe you could just put this away since you don’t actually need to do it for tomorrow” would deter them. You could call it awesome perseverance. I might call it tiring.

While we wrapped those up, Ethan decided he wanted to cook enchiladas for dinner. Brilliant! He even told me, “Just give me the recipe. I don’t want any help.” So off he went, until I realized we had no tortillas for these proposed enchiladas. I decided there was time to “run” to the store – remember, we essentially live at the cabin, so think “going into town.”

On the way, Ethan called and asked a question, and in the process I remembered that our chicken stock was expired, and there wasn’t enough sour cream. Good thing I caught that! I was in and out in 5 minutes and back home in 15 more. That’s when I realized I hadn’t bought any tortillas. We made three enchiladas using thin whole wheat flax seed flat bread slices.

After a TV dinner break – curse my DVR for not recognizing that President Obama broke into the broadcast of the So You Think You Can Dance finale thereby causing me to miss the dramatic conclusion! – we cleaned the kitchen (which at this point, with Erik gone, felt like a major victory), I biked with the dog down the street and back, made lunches for tomorrow, and herded the cats to bed.

But in the midst of all that, Ethan said, “Wow – I’m beginning to understand how hard you work” and “you’re such a great mom” and “thanks for all your help today” and Megan closed the night with, “I love you SOOO much!”

It was a great day.

Don’t blame location

Post author:Gina B
Post published:July 11, 2013
Post category:transition

When Erik first told me we were moving to Singapore in 2004, I had to look it up on a map. I had an idea that it was near Fiji.

It is not near Fiji.

I quickly learned more about our new tropical island home than its location, just short of the equator and connected by bridges to Malaysia. I learned that it was the cleanest, safest, most efficient, most affluent, and most beautiful place I’ve ever been. What’s not to love about Singapore?

And yet, through our time there, I met plenty of women who hated Singapore. Couldn’t find a thing to like about it. Really? How is that possible? It’s a tropical island for Pete’s sake. You live where people dream of vacationing.

Don’t Blame Location

It wasn’t Singapore they hated. It was their circumstances. Singapore just happened to be the unlucky backdrop. These women generally were expat women in transition. Uprooted from all they loved, their homes, their families, they were dropped into a lifestyle quite unlike what they’d ever known.

They were lost, lonely, bored. They probably would have been lost, lonely, and bored in whatever country God dropped them, but they happened to be in Singapore and so it was at fault.

I learned two things from those women – first, that every place has its ups and downs, and you have to make a choice to focus on the ups.

Second, and more importantly (because truthfully, some places do have fewer ups) I have to separate how I’m doing internally from where I am or I will miss growth.

Learning Not to Blame This Location

People asked me early on how we liked living in Orlando. I had to remind myself to stop and take away the lens of transition that colored our first six months there. Though Orlando was the context for some tough moments, it was not the cause of them. When I did that, I could say that yes, we really did enjoy living there.

Blaming location misses the real issues. It’s easy to say “I just don’t like this place. Life would be better somewhere else” rather than to acknowledge and deal with what our circumstances are doing to our hearts. The great news is that sometimes we can’t change location, but we can always change how we look at them.