I’ve always been small, the runt of the litter. In all my pictures growing up, I’m the shortest one. People regularly assumed I was a few years younger than I was. In response, I became what you might call “scrappy.” Trying to appear bigger, stronger, more capable than I was.
I still do.
Our kids finished school a couple weeks ago, and, in true Gina form, I made a summer schedule for myself that belies the fact that they still live in our home and require some level of interaction. By the end of the first week, I was disappointed that so much of my time had been spent not on the grand plans I had, but on so many seemingly mundane tasks of laundry, driving, cooking, and cleaning.
I wanted more to show for my time. Many of us do. We want a broader influence, greater opportunities, upward mobility. We want significance. We want more than ordinary. The world calls us to accomplish visible, important tasks, not the day to day.
In contrast, the question was posed once at a conference I attended, “Do you have enough faith to live a small life?”
Do we have faith that God is just as much at work, just as glorified, just as powerful, in the small things? In us doing the ordinary? Doing less? Do we have faith that we would still be just as important?
Confession: most times, no. I do not have that kind of faith. I suspect many of us don’t.
A small life might ask more faith of me than a grand one.
I want that kind of faith.
I want to learn to be small.
I want to be content with the reality that most of what I do is not, in the eyes of the world, spectacular, nor does it need to be.
I want to live every little moment fully, seeing God in every detail, experiencing His power in my weakness and my limits.
I want to believe that it is enough that He sees what I do in secret, that He is honored by my willing sacrifice in the day to day.
I want to be faithful with little, not that I would then gain much, but simply because it pleases the heart of God.
I want to be small so that others can be bigger, believing that others having more space does not diminish my worth.
I want to occupy only as much space in this world as God would have me occupy, no more, no less.
We might be small in the eyes of the world, but in those ordinary moments we can live lives that glorify Him when we do it willingly, joyfully, and with faith that it is enough.
“He must become greater, I must become less.” John 3:30