Years ago, a hair stylist told me that I should always have bangs, and short, blond hair. And I believed her. For years, I obeyed those rules. Whenever the crazy idea entered my head that I stray from them, her authoritative, expert voice rang in my ears, cowing me into submission. I currently have long, brown hair, no bangs. And …
When “Do Not Be Anxious” Isn’t Enough
After an intense October and November last year, I finally found a day to catch my breath. Or rather, to realize how hard it was to breathe at all. My chest was tight, my heart rate elevated. All the activity of those months left much undone, and the strain of getting my footing back was overwhelming. Most of my tension …
Why Do We Keep Ourselves from Grace?
When you see your child’s number appear on your phone in the middle of a school day, it’s usually not a great sign. Worse when the voice on the other end is in tears. The first thought in my mind was, “Who’s hurt? What’s broken?” (thankfully no one and nothing). Instead, I heard the story of a foolish mistake …
Stand at the Crossroads
It would never have been in my plans to make an international move pregnant, but that is exactly what I did in the fall of ‘99. When I was thrown into the newness of being a first time mama six months later, I was still wrestling to grasp a language as different from English as possible, learning how to lead …
Doubting in the Darkness
Remember paper maps? Ah, the good old days, when we navigated ourselves from one place to another, like pioneers! I loved paging through the giant U.S. atlas we kept in our living room, imagining myself traveling unknown routes. I remember the first time I had to make use of that atlas on my own. I was living in Mankato, Minnesota …
We Need to Stop Hitting Ourselves
If you have siblings, at some point you played the ‘game’ where you forced a family member to hit themselves with their own hands, while saying, “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?” This was really only funny for one of you, am I right? Too often, though, we play this game all by ourselves. We are …
How to Swimsuit Shop without Shame
Last week I took a trip to hell, also known as swimsuit shopping. Not only do you have to see what your half naked body looks like wrapped in variously fitting and often times unflattering spandex, but you get to do it in a room designed by a sadist. Who thought fluorescent lighting in dressing rooms was a good a idea? …
Tell Me the Truth
It’s important to tell ourselves the truth, but sometimes, we need others to do it for us. During this time of sabbatical, I have been reminded how desperately reliant I am on God and His truth, and how challenging it can be for me to invite others to carry me in the journey. Years ago, during a time of burnout, God …
In Case of Emergency, Remember This
It’s good to have an emergency plan. Like if you are afraid you might be chased by gators. This was the thinking my friend Laura and I had while walking the Orlando Wetland Park earlier this spring. Our plan constantly evolved according to available assistance (“Ok, so here we’d climb that shelter.” As though we could seriously climb a shelter) and …
Seeing Further on Issues of Race
So, I’m white. I’m the kind of white where people make jokes about how blinded they are when my skin shows. Hilarious, really. Keep those jokes coming cause they never get old. I grew up in a white, affluent town. I know there was one black kid in my elementary school, maybe more. There were a few Asians – two …
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