What I Want More Than Your Happiness

Gina Butz expectations, parenting 8 Comments

What I want for my kids more than their happiness

photo by Morgan Sessions

“It’s not fair,” is a favorite phrase from an unmentioned child in our family.

It’s true. Life is so often not fair. I wish I could make it fair for you. Mostly because then I would be super awesome mommy in your eyes, and it’s always tempting to vie for super awesome mommy status.

But then I remember that I’m not just about your happiness.

I want more for you than that.

More than always wanting life to be fair for you, I want you to know how to handle unjust situations with grace and joy.

More than the blessing of friendship, I hope you learn to be content with loneliness. I hope you develop compassion for the outsider, because you know what it’s like.

More than you acing every test and paper, I want you to learn how to accept failure without it defining you. While breezing through school is fun, the discipline of hard work and time management will serve you better.

More than you winning every game and tournament, I want you to choose grace in defeat, holding your head up high and congratulating the winner with sincerity. That kind of attitude carries over into all of life.

I long for your heart never to be broken. But more than that, I want you to learn that being vulnerable is the way to live bravely and openly. May your broken places serve to make you softer and more compassionate.

At the end of the day, more than your comfort I want your characterMore than your success I want your strength to get back up in the face of a fall.

But I know. I know that you think super awesome mommy should make you happy. I know, because this is exactly what I expect God to do with me.

But He wants more for us. 

Character over comfort.

Holiness over happiness.

It’s tempting for me to doubt His love when my prayers don’t land me in a comfortable, happy place, but instead right smack in the middle of growth.

I forget that giving me challenges instead of ease is proof of God’s love, not denial.Twitter He loves us too much not to make us more like Him.

I can’t aim for super awesome mommy. I need to aim for “do what is good for you even if it’s hard for both of us because I love you more than life” mommy (I need a shorter term for that). That’s where God’s aiming for both of us too.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”



I Am Not My Child’s Savior

When Falling Is Good

Promises to My Children


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Comments 8

  1. Well said, Gina! You are indeed a super mommy!! God’s promise is that when we raise our kids “in the fear and admonition of the Lord”, they will “rise up and call her blessed”!

  2. Wow, that is powerful. Did you write this? I might want to do something with this in a quilt. Would you be who i had it copywrited and would get permission to do that?

    1. Loretta,

      Yes, I wrote all of this. It’s not copyrighted, aside from it being published here. If you use it, I’d just appreciate it if you tell people who ask about it to come to my blog. I’m glad you like it. 🙂

  3. reading this piece really melted my heart. I know this is what I want my kids to do when faced with real life situations. This is truly the wise teaching we (parents) must aspire to live by and teach our children. truly blessed. Thanks- I enjoyed reading this article.

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