We are at war, and I am a lousy general.
There are issues in the world worth fighting for: the hearts and minds of our kids, strong family ties, justice for the oppressed, basic human rights.
I don’t stop there though – I have all kinds of ambitious ideas, expectations and goals for myself, my family, my world. I approach them as hills to be conquered.
I am a fighter. I’ve never been one to sit on the sidelines (remember, I’m the overly enthusiastic sideline coach). The problem is that my weapons are not effective.
I fight in my own strength.
I’d like to think I’m a pretty strong woman. I am, by most standards. That’s my downfall.
When I see these issues around me that I want to change, I tackle them with all my might and wrestle them to the ground. I come at them with my best arguments, lofty goals, high energy, intentionality.
What looks like fierceness is often nothing more than a fearful attempt to control the outcome of a situation.
If I just keep trying and try hard enough, I can conquer them, right? Right? Tell me I’m right.
I’m wrong. These problems are bigger than me. They take more than I have. Others are simply not my battle to fight; they’re my ideas, not God’s. Most of them are spiritual battles, led by an enemy bent on our destruction. Who am I against that?I’m picking the wrong weapons and the wrong battles.
I am not meant for this war, but He is. Lately, I’ve been convicted of my need to lay down my feeble weapons and turn to His power. He sees the true battles and sees them better than I do. He knows what it takes, and He has it. He knows what must be hard fought and what is not meant to be.
My best weapon is not inside me but in praying the fight back to Him, trusting that He will do what needs to be done.He wants to fight for me. My job is to step back and let Him.
Do I stop fighting altogether? No. There are some problems worth pounding the table about. But there are some hills that I am not meant to climb. Those I leave to God.
I want to fight as one who knows her place as a lowly foot soldier, trusting in my commanding officer’s weapons, wisdom, guidance and strength, not my own. I want to follow His orders on when and where to fight, and with what. The battle is the Lord’s.
“The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still.” Exodus 14:14
Soldier On, Friends